


Help Plz

by Taurnil



Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Awkward Conversations, Awkward Flirting, First Dates, First Kiss, Genderfluid Character, Genderfluid Sanji, M/M, Online Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:27:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27605582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taurnil/pseuds/Taurnil
Summary: Zoro turns to a close online friend for advice on his blind date!
Relationships: Roronoa Zoro/Sanji
Comments: 14
Kudos: 102





	Help Plz

**Author's Note:**

  * For [J_EnotsoLovely](https://archiveofourown.org/users/J_EnotsoLovely/gifts).



> Happy late birthday! ^_^

_Stark Black is online_

_Stark Black: Yo! Swords. How does this look?_

_Stark Black has sent an attachment_

Zoro looked at the notifications on his phone. He pulled his laptop out from under his bed, opening it up so he could get a better look at Stark’s drawing. Zoro blinked hard.

It was a beautifully crafted drawing of Rias from _High School DxD_ wearing a flowing green kimono.

_ThreeSwords: Fuck! That’s beautiful_

_Stark Black: ^^_

_ThreeSwords: … But I have to ask… Why so much focus on her tits?_

_Stark Black: Oh fuck you prude!_

_ThreeSwords: Seriously dude… She has a body too… And a face!_

_Stark Black: Whatever >< _

_ThreeSwords: Lol, can’t take criticism?_

_Stark Black: That’s not a criticism, that’s just cos you don’t like tits!_

_ThreeSwords: I like tits, I just like them on, you know, real humans._

_Stark Black: Nothing wrong with a pair of big tits… Or a big dick! >D _

_ThreeSwords … 0_0_

_Stark Black: Maybe even a pair of them?_ _😉_

_ThreeSwords: You telling me your weekend plans…_

_Stark Black: :-P_

_Stark Black: Wanna play some Doom?_

Zoro chucked at his phone. It always amazed him how Stark could go from being a complete pervert to wanting to play video games in under ten seconds.

_ThreeSwords: Sorry, not tonight. I’m kinda freaking out about a date I have later._

_Stark Black: Ah fair! I have to hop in the shower in thirty minutes anyway. I’m meeting up with someone later._

_Stark Black: Wanna tell me about this date?_

_ThreeSwords: Not much to tell tbh. My roommate set it up >< But apparently, I’m really gonna like them?_

_Stark Black: Well, trust her instincts! I’m sure it’ll be great. Good luck, melorine!_

_ThreeSwords: Thanks! Have fun with your meet up._

_Stark Black: Thanks! <3 _

Zoro put his phone down, rummaging through the closet for some half-decent clothes.

******

Taking a deep breath, Zoro approached the restaurant, trying to remember why he had agreed to go on a blind date in the first place! Nami had insisted that this person was perfect for Zoro. According to her, Sanji was sexy, attentive and an amazing cook. That was about all he knew about his date.

Looking down at his tight black shirt, apparently, Sanji liked black, denim jeans and old, worn converses. He peeked through the window of the restaurant, panicking a little when he saw more people were in suit jackets or flowing dresses. He felt his stomach do a few little flip-flops. His heart thumped harder when he saw a sexy, unbelievably elegant blonde sitting in the corner of the restaurant, reading a menu.

They were wearing incredibly tight dress trousers, and a sleek black suit jacket, hugging their limbs tightly. Their blond hair was straightened, bangs falling over the right side of their face. Their long nails were painted a shining black, three gold bangles on their right wrist. Grey eyeshadow was painted over their eyelids, black lipstick shone on their lips, perfectly applied, not a single smudge. Zoro stared wide-eyed at the strange person.

Could that be… Was that Sanji?

Zoro looked around the restaurant for any other blond, young person in a black suit with golden buttons. But the only other blondes appeared to be a woman in her fifties sitting with a group of other women, and a tall, short-haired blond man in a blue suit. Apart from them, there was a kid who couldn’t be older than twelve happily digging into a huge ice cream sundae! All other blondes aside, the person in the corner was the only one with curly eyebrows, even if Zoro could only see one!

The swordsman stared at the person in the corner. They were… So, fucking sexy!

Panicking, Zoro pulled his phone out of his pocket.

_ThreeSwords: Fuck! Are you there… Help!_

Zoro paused, phone trembling in his hand.

_Stark Black: Yeah, I’m here, my person hasn’t turned up yet. Whats up?_

_ThreeSwords: I think I’m meeting my date. I think I see them through the window!_

_Stark Black: … And you’re staring at them like a creeper! XD_

_ThreeSwords: No! It’s not like that… I just don’t know if I can go in. They’re pretty fucking sexy!_

_Stark Black: Lol, certainly sounds like you’re being a creep._

_ThreeSwords: -_-_

_ThreeSwords: Shut up and help me!_

_Stark Black: Lol, okay looser. Maybe the best thing you can do is take a deep breath and step inside. Are they a guy or a girl?_

Zoro looked through the window.

_ThreeSwords: Tbh, I can’t tell from here… *facepalm*_

_Stark Black: Lol, well it doesn’t matter to you anyway right? Did you bring them anything?_

_ThreeSwords: Fuck… No…_

_Stark Black: You fuckwit! Is there somewhere you can get flowers?_

Zoro looked around, panicked.

_ThreeSwords: There’s a K-Mart across the street?_

_Stark Black: Okay lol. Go get the best bunch of flowers, one which least screams ‘I bought these last minute at a K-Mart.’_

_ThreeSwords: Got it!_

Zoro ran towards the K-Mart, quickly stepping inside. He looked at his watch. He was already ten minutes late, he needed to hurry up. There wasn’t a great selection. He quickly sent a picture to Stark.

_Stark Black: Lol, Dude…_

_ThreeSwords: I don’t think I have time to go somewhere else! Which of these are the least tragic?_

_Stark Black: Go with the yellow roses. They’re cute! And roses are a good first date flower. Most people don’t hate them._

_ThreeSwords: Got it!_

_Stark Black: Okay, take the flowers, go in, sit down introduce yourself and give them a compliment. Nothing too obvious like hair or clothes. Something specific, like a piece of jewellery. If you’re not sure about their gender, maybe ask for their pronouns? But give yours first so they don’t feel on the spot._

Zoro stepped out of the store, roses in hand.

_ThreeSwords: Will do! Thanks so much._

_Stark Black: No problem. Have fun!_

Sanji smiled to himself, slipping his phone back into his pocket. He grinned, thinking about his own date. Nami had insisted he was hot as fuck, if a little clumsy and awkward. It was his first real date with a guy, but he was really excited about it.

Sanji looked up when the door opened. His face fell in shock before a large grin spread across his face.

This man was definitely his date. Tall, muscular, Asian and, all those things aside, his hair was a bright green colour! Nami could have just left his description there and Sanji still would have been able to spot him. This was Zoro. But green hair aside, a sentence Sanji didn’t think he’d ever think, what really caught his eye was the bunch of yellow roses in his hand.

 _‘No way!’_ Sanji thought, unable to stop his grin. ‘ _No fucking way!’_

The large man clumsily nudged his way through the restaurant, heading towards his table.

“Um… Hi,” The tall man mumbled. “I’m Zoro.”

Sanji smiled at him, standing up, moving his body elegantly, palms pressed against the table.

“Hi Zoro,” Sanji said grinning. “I’m Sanji.”

They shook hands, Sanji’s feeling soft and small against Zoro’s large calluses. Zoro sat down opposite his date, still clutching the bouquet.

“Oh, here!” Zoro shoved the roses towards Sanji. “I got you these.”

Sanji feigned surprise, burying their face in the soft petals.

“Sweet, thank you so much.” A blue eye sparkled at Zoro. “That’s so thoughtful.”

Sanji reached into his bag, pulling out a small box of dark chocolates.

“These are for you.” He slid the box across the table, not missing the odd look on Zoro’s face. “What’s wrong?”

“Oh, nothing.” Zoro grinned. “Thanks, that’s really kind of you.” He cleared his throat awkwardly. “I use he/him pronouns.”

Sanji blinked at him, giving him an amused smile.

‘ _Shit!’_ Zoro thought to himself. ‘ _Real smooth!’_

Sanji tutted, giving Zoro a look of disapproval.

“Are you trying to find out if I’m a man or a woman?”

Zoro squirmed, watching as Sanji’s face twisted in anger.

“No,” He said quickly. “I was just… It doesn’t matter but… It’s good to ask right?”

Sanji paused, folding his arms.

“True,” He looked down his nose at Zoro, leaning back against the wall. “I suppose for tonight I use he/him pronouns too. But to be honest, I’m experimenting with my gender currently, so that might change.”

“Oh cool,” Zoro said nodding. “I have a friend going through the same thing.”

“Oh really?” Sanji quirked a smile. “Tell me about them?”

“Well…” Zoro coughed. “I don’t _know_ them know them. We’re online friends. But we’ve talked about a lot of personal stuff.”

“Ah-ha,” Sanji replied. “I understand, I get like that with online friends too. It’s easier to confess to a screen than a face.”

“Exactly.”

Sanji sat back, smiling at Zoro. This was going to be so fun!

Zoro quickly checked himself, remembering what else Stark had said.

“That’s a nice bangle,” Zoro said pointing at his wrist. “Or bangles.” Sanji crunched brow.

“Okay…” He said awkwardly. “Thanks. I quite like your earrings, I guess. I like a guy with the confidence to wear earrings.”

Zoro swallowed. He didn’t know how to reply. He didn’t think he was taking Stark’s advice too well! It didn’t help that this person still looked incredibly sexy, even while looking a little put-off.

He almost sighed in relief when the waiter came and took their order. Zoro hadn’t had a chance to look at the menu yet, so the waiter asked if they wanted drinks. Sanji asked for a strange, named wine he’d never heard of. Not that he had heard of many wines. Zoro panicked looking at the menu and ordered the first beer he recognised, which happened to be Heineken.

“You a kid?” Sanji teased when the waiter walked away.

“Hum?”

“Not interested in experimenting with any interesting food or drink, huh? Guess that explains your reaction to my chocolates.”

“No way, I like to try new things,” Zoro insisted, a little annoyed. “I just hate chocolate.”

There was an awkward pause between them.

“I’m going for a smoke,” Sanji said, grabbing his purse. “I’ll be back in five.”

“Okay.”

Zoro let his face fall into his palm the moment Sanji stepped out of the restaurant. He groaned into his hands, wondering how this could be going any worse.

His phone buzzed in his pocket.

_Stark Black: Hey dude! How’s it going?_

_ThreeSwords: Terrible! ><_

_Stark Black: How so?_

_ThreeSwords: I’m… I’m fucking everything up._

_Stark Black: Lol, care to elaborate?_

_ThreeSwords: Everything I say just seems to piss him off. I insulted the gift he brought me and fucked up the pronoun asking._

_Stark Black: Fuck…_

_ThreeSwords: Yeah_

_Stark Black: Do you like him?_

_ThreeSwords: I don’t know. He seems a little uptight tbh. But damn is he hot as fuck!_

Zoro looked through the glass window.

_ThreeSwords: They have these really long legs in WAY too tight trousers. I don’t think I can concentrate on anything else._

Sanji giggled, looking over his shoulder at the flustered man. He smiled, taking a long drag of his cigarette.

_Stark Black: Okay, here’s what you do. Where is he now?_

_ThreeSwords: Smoking outside._

_Stark Black: Have you ordered yet?_

_ThreeSwords: Just drinks._

_Stark Black: Okay, pay for them now. Then when he comes back inside, hand him his drink and tell him to down it so you can take him home and fuck his tight ass like a crazy person!_

_ThreeSwords: DUDE! IN WHAT UNIVERSE WOULD THAT WORK??_

_Stark Black: Trust me on this one._ _😉_

_ThreeSwords: I’m NOT doing that._

_Stark Black: Hey, it sounds crazy, but believe me. It’ll work._

_ThreeSwords: Goodbye pervert!_

Zoro muted his phone, shoving it into his pocket. He tugged on his green hair, not knowing how to react to Stark’s advice.

The waiter arrived before Sanji, placing their drinks on the table.

“I’m sorry,” Sanji said suddenly, appearing behind Zoro. “But we have to shoot off. Could I have the bill, please?”

Zoro felt his face go pale. Well, this was probably for the best.

Sanji handed the waiter his card, not bothering to sit back down.

“No, it’s okay,” Zoro said quickly reaching for his wallet. “I can-.”

Zoro was cut off when Sanji grabbed his shirt, pulling him in for a long, wet kiss. His eyes went wide, numbly kissing back, his whole body in shock. Sanji bit his lower lip, grinning against him.

“Finish your drink,” He whispered. “Then you’re going to take me home and fuck my tight ass!”

Zoro gaped at him, his dark eyes staring with disbelief.

“What’s the matter Swords?” Sanji said smugly. “Can’t concentrate when my legs are on show?”

Sanji watched as Zoro’s facial expression went through many levels of confusion. He laughed, reaching into his bag for his phone.

Zoro felt like he would have a heart attack when Sanji brought up his drawing of Rias, the same one he’d sent to Zoro earlier that day. It took about a minute for it to sink in, before a huge grin spread over Zoro’s face.

“You shithead!” He growled, pulling Sanji in for another kiss.

The waiter returned with Sanji’s card and the receipt. The blond picked up his wine glass, downing the contents in two swallows.

“Since we already know all the first date stuff about each other,” Sanji continued. “Let’s get straight to the good part!”

Zoro couldn’t agree more, downing his beer faster than Sanji had finished his wine. He picked up his jacket, hurrying out of the restaurant with Sanji, hands clasped tight.

**Author's Note:**

> If you like my work and want to support my writing please I take commissions [here](https://ko-fi.com/taurnil) page and [Here](https://www.fiverr.com/taurnil_writes)  
> Or you could drop me a message at my [Tumblr](https://taurnil.tumblr.com/) I'm always excited to hear feedback on my work and suggestions for my WIP('s?)


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